Top 10 Valentine's DON'Ts

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Submitted by J, L, CR & TJ MORRISON Top 10 Valentine's DON'Ts by Christian Finnegan No.
No. 1 DON'T tell your girlfriend that this has been “one of the best” Valentine’s you’ve ever had. She won’t see that as a compliment.
No. 2 DON'T celebrate your special night by ordering tequila shots – Valentine’s is already poignant enough without inviting Jose Cuervo to the party! Angry shouting and upchucking that expensive dinner you paid for do not a romantic evening make.
No. 3 DON'T try to “avoid the rush.” There’s no such thing as a romantic 4:00 PM dinner (unless you’re over 65).
No. 4 DON'T try to slip how much you spent on her gift into the conversation. She already know the going rate for cubic zirconia, dude.
No. 5 DON'T Forget to compliment your wife or girlfriend on her Valentine’s ensemble. Compliment her dress, her hair, her shoes, her nails, her makeup, her jewelry, her fingers, her toes, her kneecaps, her kidneys, etc. Just keep complimenting
No. 6 DON'T willingly engage in any conversation during which your wife/girlfriend addresses you by your real name. If she calls you “Honey,” or “Sweetheart,” or even “Papi,” you’re good to go. But any conversation that starts with “Michael, I need to ask you a question…” is a potential minefield.
No. 7 DON'T take your Valentine to an NC-17 movie, even if it’s foreign and/or artsy. On a night like this, the only naked body you should be admiring is hers.
No. 8 DON'T be your usual, too-cool-to-wear-nice-clothes self. No need to buy a new suit, but come on man – maybe tonight isn’t the night for your “ironic” Dukes of Hazard t-shirt.
No. 9 DON'T order tequila shots. Do you hear me? I’m not kidding about this!
No. 10 DON'T play mood music that’s sexier than you are. If you’re not 100% certain you can provide genuine “sexual healing,” leave Marvin Gaye up on the shelf. Every man’s got to know his limitations.

Valentine's Day Trivia
-About three percent of pet owners give Valentine's Day gifts to their pets.
-About one billion Valentine's Day cards are exchanged each year. The holiday is second only to Christmas in terms of the number of cards sent.
-Seventy percent of those celebrating Valentine's Day show their affection by giving a card. Others make a telephone call (49 percent), give a gift (48 percent), plan a special dinner (37 percent), give candy (33 percent), have a meal in a restaurant (30 percent), or give flowers (19 percent).
-The Italian city of Verona, where Shakespeare's lovers Romeo and Juliet lived, receives about 1,000 letters addressed to Juliet every Valentine's Day.
-About 110 million roses, most of them red, will be sold for Valentine's Day this year.
-Fifteen percent of women in the United States send themselves flowers on Valentine's Day. -
-During Abraham Lincoln's campaign for President, a Democrat named Valentine Tapley swore he would never shave again if Abe were elected. Tapley kept his word and his chin whiskers went unshaved from November 1860 until he died in 1910, attaining a length of 12 feet six inches.
-In the U.S., it's estimated that 64 percent of men do not make plans in advance for Valentine's Day.